Valentine’s Day Is For Losers
By: Ccep J. Dew
dews_ccep@yahoo.com
That’s right…I said it! Valentine’s Day is for losers. No matter how many flowers you receive, teddy bears you buy, pink and red cards you send or Conversation Hearts you eat, you are bound to forget someone or be forgotten by someone. And both of you will lose money and gain weight in the process--if not from indulging in too much candy, then from the sheer stress of going to CVS and seeing aisle after aisle filled with hearts, sexy boxer-shorts, and plastic handcuffs while you’re on your way to grab dinner for one from the freezer section.
Who really was St. Valentine? Probably some guy who upset his girlfriend and to regain her admiration, spent outlandish amounts of money on jewelry, candy, and stuffed animals.
So, what is V-Day all about? “Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. In North America and Europe, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers or offering confectionery [candy]. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named “Valentine.” Aww, how cute. No…not really. Just like the idea of the Easter Bunny, V-Day is hard for me to digest. I saw Alice Through the Looking Glass and wouldn’t want to eat anything that came out of a gigantic bunny. Also, take into consideration the fact that as a mammal, bunnies don’t lay eggs, let alone ones filled with delicious Hershey’s chocolate.
Who really was St. Valentine? Probably some guy who upset his girlfriend and to regain her admiration spent outlandish amounts of money on jewelry, candy and stuffed animals. “See baby. I do love you,” he coos as she stuffs a chocolate truffle in her mouth. I’m sure she didn’t forgive him at that moment, what honest woman can turn down free candy? I’ll admit that I’m slightly addicted to Conversation Hearts. But the appearance was that all was forgiven, so other guys thought to themselves, “Hey, Valentine gave his girlfriend gifts and she stopped nagging him for awhile. Guys, let’s all go down to the market and buy tons and tons of penny candy!” Of course, word spread quickly and soon all the stores were out of treats and gifts, which made the store owners happy and their distributors even happier. Not to mention the seamstresses who had to let out or start anew on outfits to fit all these ever bulging women. In honor of the economic boost, the day was deemed Valentine’s Day and ever since store owners have thought of new ways to capitalize on St. Valentine’s “brilliance.”
Of course, this is just something I made up while sitting at this computer, but if the “V-Day yeas” can say it’s about love, then I and the rest of the “V-Day nays” can rightfully say it’s about money, right?
“The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.”
Come on, ladies. Let’s be real. Men don’t want heart-shaped cards in pink and white. They want Steelers jerseys and tickets to see the Lakers. They want big screen TVs and every game console known to man hooked up to it. They want Family Guy and Reno 911 marathons to run on that big screen TV. And no matter how many of us buy lingerie and say, “It’s for you,” we all know it’s for us. History has shown they don’t much care about frilly, lacy corsets and thongs. BBQ sauce would work just the same---or better!
The point is, let’s do away with V-Day. Let’s save up to buy those big ticket birthday, anniversary, and Christmaskwanzikah gifts. Let’s wait until after V-Day when everything is on sale to buy candy and gifts. Forget dinner reservations in crowded, overpriced restaurants where you can hear everyone’s loud conversation but your own. Order a pizza instead.
I don’t “celebrate” Valentine’s Day. Why do I need a designated day to say, “I love you?” What about in middle school when I took my time finding the only heart-shaped lollipop that wasn’t broken to attach to the cutest card in the box of 20 only to get to school and find that my valentine wasn’t there that day. I kept it in my desk so I could give it to him when he came back to school. He never did and I hated the day every year after that.
One V-day, my husband and I decided to make gifts. He made me the cutest card/booklet that I have ever seen. Complete with pencil and construction paper pictures, it told the story of how we met in grade school, lost contact and met again in high school. I read it about three times before I realized it was written as a poem. The same year I drew him a picture of a football field with the Pittsburgh Steelers logo in the center. It was outlined with lots of pretty glitter. He loved my gift and I loved his, not because of Valentine’s Day, but because we’d took the time to actually create something special for one another.
I don’t “celebrate” Valentine’s Day. Why do I need a designated day to say, “I love you?”
This year I did so much boasting about how Valentine’s Day sucks. “Pink and white. Blech,” even though pink is my favorite color. Five days before the day, my hubby presented me with a baby blue box that held a beautiful necklace adorned with dolphins and a hanging aquamarine crystal. “It’s not a Valentine’s day gift. It’s a Saturday gift,” he said before placing it around my neck. And I showed everyone and told them just that. “We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day,” I told a co-worker at one job before leaving to help set up a Valentine’s party at another job. The party started and the middle-school kids were happy to pile their plates up with Costco pizza, fruit, cookies and insanely huge cupcakes.
Well, imagine my surprise to look up and see my husband’s Jeep parked outside. Instinctively, I ran to him since he’s been on a Navy ship for three days. And do you know what he had in the passenger seat of the Jeep? A dozen long-stemmed roses, a red balloon attached to a pink box that held candy and the black teddy bear from CVS that I had mentioned was cute a week before. I smiled and blushed so hard because I knew he wasn’t feeling too good and had just gotten home since his uniform was still on, yet he had taken the time out to shop and drive all the way to my job just to make me feel special. I still do.
I still hold firm to my belief that Valentine’s Day is for losers and as I stare into the kitchen where the roses stand in a vase, I take my fingers off the keyboard to put an “L” on my forehead. I guess I’m a loser, too.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_day