Editorials
Northernstar
Northernstar@excapethematrix.com
“Get it together”
The rain tapped against the window seal as the night grew cold and the palms of my hands began to sweat, while my body felt like it was boiling pass a hundred degrees. I stripped out of my gray sweatpants and favorite black thermal top to get comfortable and cool off my body. As I was laying there in my pink lace bra and panties, I still felt hot as sweat poured down my face and my hair abandoned the scrunchy that held it in a pony-tail. The bed became so drenched with sweat that it literally felt like someone threw a large bucket of water in the sheets, as I tossed and turned with the thoughts of him in my mind and in disbelief that we’re no longer together. How could this be the man I shared six years of my life with, suddenly leave me? I do not understand at all! I felt the chunks in the back of my throat draw closer to my tongue as I ran towards the bathroom that was only two feet away from my bed, and the vomit wildly escaped from my mouth appearing in the toilet with a weird pink color.
I lay next to the toilet with my mouth hovering over top of it, and observed my surroundings with my dizzy spells having a full-on effect. My pulse started to beat faster than its original rate, and tears poured down my face kissing the surface of my chin. I cupped my face with my hands and my tears shifted into large cries loud enough for the entire city to hear. I pushed my fist against the floor to bring myself up and felt really weak standing. A pitiful reflection stared at me in the silver-framed mirror, as I walked towards it to get a closer look.
I was so ashamed looking in the mirror and seeing things I was not so proud of. The chinky, hazel-brown eyes that once saw happiness, is now dull with excessive bags underneath the surface. And the pink full-curled lips that were great for kissing, don’t kiss anymore. I used to live to see the day, to cherish, and to expect the unexpected. But never had I imagined that he would do this to me! I threw the glass soap dish at the mirror causing the glass to shatter revealing different types of medication behind it. At this point, all the glass is either on the floor or in the sink and my foot is bleeding. But I cannot feel right now, my body is becoming desensitized, based on the current events in my life.
What the hell did I do to deserve this? I am a good woman, a real woman who is always there for her man, and this is what the hell I get in return? And men wonder why women go crazy on their asses! He has put me through so much, and the thought of any woman receiving benefits from the lessons I’ve taught him and the man I helped create, ANGERS me. When his mother passed away, I was there for him. When he lost his basketball scholarship, I was there for him. When he needed a place to stay, I was there for him. And now he has himself together, he thinks he’s on top-of-the-world now, and thinks he can go around hurting people; arrogant asshole! It’s not fair and I bet she’s going to love every bit of it, until he drops her like he did me!