Britney: Soul Survivor

By: ^Northern Star*
northernstar@excapethematrix.com

My cousin was the life of the party. Britney's presence would fill up a room like no other. She was a natural beauty with smooth milky-brown skin and dark brown eyes with a slant, resembling those of an Egyptian.  Full-curled lips, beautiful straight teeth, slim-built like a model but curvy at the hips and was known for her long flowing, jet-black hair. Aside from her physical characteristics, Britney had a witty personality that complimented her beauty in every prospect. I believe her sarcastic ways won everyone over; from her imitating people to her playing practical jokes, Britney always had a good sense-of-humor.

As children, Britney and I were always close. We would sleep in the same crib together, and my mother knew darn well Britney was too big to be in a crib with me. She was two years older than me, and of course, always thought she was right even though she really knew she wasn’t. "What did I say, I am right because I am the oldest," she would yell. Though I hated her guts for constantly saying that, I miss that phrase rolling off of those curled lips of hers. The phrase alone already sounded humorous in its only little way and sometimes I would find myself doing dumb things she would tell me to do.

"Vez, grandma been sleep too long and I'm getting worried", Britney cried. "Well, what do you want me to do?” I asked. "Get some water and throw it in her face," Britney whispered as she laughed. "No, I'm not doing that. Are you crazy," I asked. "Vez, go ahead and stop being a punk, I want to see if she going wake up," Britney laughed. "Well if you want her to wake up, then you do it yourself," I said. "Boy, go ahead and throw the water in her face," she yelled. "Okay!" I yelled back. "I just don’t understand why you can't do it," I added. "Because I want you to do it," she said. I went and ran water in the red cup, which was in the bathroom, and Britney and I walked back in the room to see my grandmother lying in the bed, with her mouth wide open snoring. "Britney, grandma is still alive. Don't you hear her snoring," I asked. "Yeah, but she been sleep too long, and I think it's time for her to wake up," Britney answered. "You get on my nerves," I said. "Yeah, and I love you too," Britney said. I got closer to my grandmother as her snores echoed through the room and started to grow the closer I got towards her. "I can't believe I am doing this," I mumbled. As I positioned the cup over my grandmother’s face, Britney was in the doorway covering her mouth with her hand laughing. "Shut up," I whispered. I finally tilt the cup over and BAM, it hit grandma's face, and she woke up all right because she whipped both of our butts.

Now that I am older the memory of that moment is hilarious and as Britney grew became, the more good times we had. Her confidence was so captivating that you could once mistake it for arrogance, but this young lady was really humble and she knew who she wanted to be. When Britney would walk in a room, she would jokingly hush the whole room quiet and say "Everyone watch out, The Queen has entered the room," but everyone knew how silly she was so they would all laugh. But in July 2001, it was no laughing matter. After several months of aching pains in her leg, Britney was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer). My family as a whole was devastated, but I personally was in disbelief because she was only sixteen at the time and I didn't really know anything about children with cancer. During Britney's first chemotherapy treatment, she remained humorous and still joked, but there was something different I noticed about her. I noticed that when she joked, it seemed like something inside of her wanted to break. But not one moment did this girl break.

Over the course of time, my aunt (Britney's mother) decided to let Britney stay with my mother for a few weeks because they didn't want Britney to go up her mother's steps, and my mother lived in a one floor apartment. That was a great idea because Britney had to get a bone taken out of her leg that was the size of a grapefruit and tackling steps was difficult. As my mother, sister and C.J. (my dog) cared for Britney; Shamara (her sister) and her mother came to help us do everything with Britney. From washing her up to helping her take medication, we as a family stuck together. While Britney was going through her treatments, she turned to music accompanied by Brian McKnight to help her cope with the cancer. I must say, that it really helped her get through her days. From her losing her long jet-black hair to her feeling extremely nauseous, Brian McKnight's music was there to help her. In April 2002, Britney's chemotherapy was finally over and in May, her sister gave birth to a baby girl, Aneisa, who became Britney's pride and joy. "This is really my daughter, Mara just carried her for me," Britney would joke. Britney really loved kids and she dreamed of having her own day care. Around this time, Britney started to get her complexion back. Her hair grew in to be jet-black, but curly, and most importantly she began to be confident again. In August 2002, Britney invited the family on a trip to California sponsored by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Boy, did we have a blast!!! When Britney came back to Baltimore, she was a senior in high school. Britney was having the time of her life in the beginning of her senior year, but in January, tests showed that a cancer was still floating inside of her. She proceeded to do more chemotherapy treatments, but she continued to go school. By the time she graduated in June 2003, her treatments were over. It was so amazing watching this young lady grow into a strong woman. In June 2004, Britney received the news that she was pregnant. "Vez, I'm pregnant," Britney excitedly yelled. "Britney, why do you play so much," I asked. Since Britney played about everything, I just would not believe her. It would turn out of course that she wasn’t joking.  "Vez, Britney is pregnant, we just came from the hospital," her mother said”. This was the happiest I've seen Britney in such a long time. For a baby boy the name was going to be Shyne, she couldn’t really decide on a girl’s name. "I hope it's a boy too, because I'm tired of everyone having girls," I replied. "I know. Awwww Vez, I can't wait to start planning for the baby shower and delivery, I am so excited," she said. As time went on, Britney started to experience pain from her spine to her legs. The family started to get worried after one particularly painful day for her. In August, it was found that a tumor had grown on her spine and needed to be removed. But she didn't want the operation because she wanted to have the baby. The bad news was that if she kept the baby then the extra weight would have pushed down on the tumor more. Britney ended up having the abortion and the surgery where doctors removed the tumor from her spine leaving Britney paralyzed from the waist down.

"I think I'm going to hell," Britney said. "Why you think that," I asked. "Because God don't like when girls get abortions and I didn't want to do that," Britney said. "Right, you didn't want to do that, but you had no choice, it was a life threatening situation," I said. "But I wanted that baby so much," Britney said. She pretty much gave up this time around, she felt like she had nothing to live for. March 27th, 2005, my family planned an early birthday party for Britney (birthday was June 12th, she would've been 20) where we joked and laughed. Britney had a good time that night and she was still being sarcastic the entire time. The next day I got a phone call, "Vez... Britney left," my mother cried. "What do you mean, where she go," I asked. "She is gone," my mother cried again. I instantly threw the phone to the floor and balled. I could not believe what I just heard. As I sat there thinking, I realized something Britney told me and my cousin the day before she died. "Alright Britney, I'm about to leave, I have to get on this road because it's a lot of traffic," Nakeia said. "Keia don't leave," was Britney’s response. "Why," Nakeia asked. "Cause I don't want you to," Britney said. "I will be back around April 14th or 15th for my birthday," Nakeia said. "But I'm not going to be here around April 14th," Britney said. "Where you going to be," Nakeia and I said at the same time. Britney paused for a second and sarcastically said, "Oh you know, I’m going to be on the Strip selling my body," she joked. Nakeia and I laughed at that moment, but now I realize that Britney knew she was about to go, and the fact she joked about it lets me know that she is okay.