THE HEALING PATH
BY FATAHMA ODEBE
I have experienced the imbalance of the mind, body and spirit first hand.
At 21, I weighed 245+ and was suffering from severe anxiety and depression.
My doctors did not pass go before I had a bottle of Paxil in my left hand and
Xanax in my right.
Paxil is an antidepressant. Xanax is a sedative.
At that time in my life, I just played the victim. I was victimized in my
childhood. I had been victimized by a verbally, emotionally and physically
abusive father. I numbed my emotional grief in marijuana and alcohol.
Codependency would have been a welcomed home, oh and not to mention from the
time I had been 14 or 15 years of age I was bulimic. YES.... bulimics are
African American... yes I
would have weighed well over my max had it not been for that illness. And I am
sure if I had not been relieved of that illness that I would not be typing this
article for your eyes to read.
At the age of 22 I knew there was more. I lost over 60lbs through an ephedra-
based over the counter drug and I was at the point where I was binging and
purging 5-8 times per day. I could not have possibly been bulimic because that's
a" rich white girl's thing" I really thought I could stop at any time. I COULD
NOT.
My life changed the weekend of March 17, 2002 . That Sunday morning, I woke up
and my spirit just was EXHAUSTED. All of the grief and shame that I had to
hide... All of the trauma that I was suppressing - it all had to end.
So I went and sat in front of what I now know was an altar with angels and
incense, sage and crystals. I had started praying like I had never in life. I
was praying for LIFE. I was praying for the prayers to say that would end this
war. I surrendered to something bigger than myself. After some time I started to
feel light. The energy was high and vibrant and my living room filled up the the
presence of angels. From that moment on, I have not binged or purged and it's
been over five years now. ASHE !!!
That's when the fun started. I went through what I call a series of healing
crises and we all know what goes up must come down. For me, it was the exact
opposite, what was down had to come up and out with the use of my pointer
finger. I went through "breakthrough" crying spells. I couldn't sleep, eat or
barely talk. The doctors wanted to put me back on antidepressants. For me, I
wanted to get to the root of all of those things that were consuming me. All the
words I had never said.
All the tears I had never cried. All of the anger I had never screamed out. I
know for me healing has not come in like this transcendental moment that was
peaceful and serene. I am not saying to all of those millions of people who are
on medication for depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses that they
are wrong and should not take them. I want all people to be well. Iif a person
can't get out of bed, has fits of rage and are going though a lot of what I have
gone through and a doctor writes that prescription, then yes take it. I also
just urge you to get in combination with that counseling the love and support
that is needed.
I met a wonderful healer named Prem Deben. Prem started me with counseling and
getting my body on supplements and herbal remedies to get to me to a place of
balance.
Now, its five years later. No, my life is not perfect but it's been completely
changed. I have a better grasp on who I am. I am currently a Reiki
master/Intuitive/ Artist all of which I believe have happened through me
surrendering to healing and coming into alignment with the life I was meant to
live. IN PEACE