TRANSitioning to Truth:
The GraythePoet Interview Part II

Written by: Liberator
Photography by: Quill Wordsmith, Marsalis Images

 

Picking up right where we left off, Gray and I get deeper into our conversation as we continue to talk about his upcoming projects mentally, physically, and poetically…

 

Liberator: So, as far as respect goes, have you been disrespected during this transition? What is the craziest thing you have heard?

Zyon: [smirks] I’ve heard people say that I need to just accept the fact that I have a psychological issue and stop trying to blame this on genetic disorders. I think people who are not open-minded just think that I’m seeking attention. I am who I am, though. That’s before anything.

 

Liberator: That’s definitely what matters most. So, while doing research, I’ve read that the hardest part of transitioning is self-acceptance. Does that apply to you?

Zyon: I can admit that I have suffered with the depression and the low self-esteem and, at times, I don’t accept myself. But, I honestly think that everybody who is trans at one point does not want to accept their body. I know I’m not the first trans to have depressive feelings.

 

Liberator: Speaking of acceptance, how are friends and family taking it? In a video blog, you stated how you had to cut ties with people. Why?

Zyon: They say the people that you are closest to cut you the deepest. Close friends of mine who know me by my birth name see me during my transition and say, “Hey, I always knew.” Then, as time progresses, they think that they know how I feel, but they really don’t.

 

“Self-love is the key to anything you do. Even after this interview is over, you might think, ‘Gray is full of shit and
I’m not buying this transgender thing…’ As much as it may seem odd to anybody, I still love myself. I love myself enough to continue what I’m doing despite anyone’s opinions…”

 

Liberator: eXactly. That’s how I felt when my straight friends used to tell me they knew how I feel to come out as a lesbian. It’s like, “C’mon. You really don’t.”

Zyon: Right. No one can know how something feels if they are not living it. Maybe they just don’t understand and nobody can teach someone understanding. You just hope it comes to them. I try to understand them by putting myself in their shoes, but I refuse to deal with bland ignorance.

 

Liberator: How is your mother taking this? I only ask because when I listen to your poetry you either talk about her or hint about how she feels about your lifestyle. To take it back, I can distinctly remember you getting free on the mic when you spit “Forgive Me Father”. I remember that piece having a lot of references to her.

Zyon: Well, I haven’t said anything to her, yet. I’ve actually been being the bad son and have not answered any of her phone calls. It’s not as bad as you may think. My mother has a governmental job in Liberia, so we connect through e-mails everyday. However, when she calls, I never answer. I know I could try to disguise my voice and tell her that I have a cold, but if I tell her the truth I don’t know what eXactly is going to happen. I’m not far along in my transition yet to tell her. Plus, my mother knows I have a tendency to pick up things and then leave it alone, so I know she might think that this is a phase. She is one of the most important people in the world to me, so that is going to be hard for me to deal with when it comes to telling her. 

 

Liberator: So, since you haven’t told her, who or what has been your support system, then?

Zyon: It might seem crazy, but it’s the spoken word scene. That’s my support system.

 

Liberator: So, it’s safe to say that poetry has been helping you through this process?

Zyon: Yes. It is definitely healing and therapeutic.

 

Liberator: How many pieces have been dedicated to the transition so far?

Zyon: I have started a lot and some still remained unfinished. The pieces have been more like confessions to me. I started writing the poems to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by coming out as who I really am.

 

“I’ve heard people say that I need to just accept the fact that I have a psychological issue and stop trying to
blame this on genetic disorders. I think people who are not open-minded just think that I’m seeking attention.
I am who I am, though. That’s before anything…”

 

Liberator: What about your open mic spot?

Zyon: Motion Mondaze is on 1313 Pratt Street [in Baltimore, Maryland]. Our only policy is open heart, open mind, open mic. I allow everyone to come there. I’ve noticed in the poetry scene in Baltimore, whenever a lesbian would do a piece about women, there would seem like there was some sort of animosity. Like, when I was the only other lesbian there, people would look at me for any type of confirmation to the other lesbian’s piece while she was spitting. It was like, “If Gray is feeling her piece, it must be dope.” I really didn’t like that. So, I definitely wanted to create a spot where people could just be themselves. Be liberated. I think Storytellers actually hits that on the head. Oh! We also give out free notebooks!

 

Liberator: Yesss! Free gifts!

Zyon: Yup, we give out free notebooks, which are usually given out to encourage people to keep writing. I have a lot of younger people coming out to my spot because they hear a trans man is hosting and they can accept their lesbianism without the feelings of being judged.

 

Liberator: So, anything coming out soon? What are you working on?

Zyon: I’m working on a book of poetry. That is what I am trying to use to go on tour with this Spring. The book is entitled She is the Weatherman. The first half will be a collection of poetry when I allowed myself to identify as a woman. The other half is me finally coming out of my shell.

 

Liberator: What was the inspiration behind this? Why a book?

Zyon: Everyone has a CD. I have every single Saul Williams book. If I lose a copy, I’m ordering another one. It’s never a bad thing to have a good book lying around. We rely so much on technology now. If Facebook shuts down, the world might come to an end.

 

Liberator: [laughs] What? You ain’t know?

Zyon: Right! I spend a lot of time in solitude. When I’m off of work, I love to pick up a book and read. I think there is a lot more people out there who do the same. Hopefully, someone will soon have my book in their collection.

 

Liberator: Do you have any inspiring words for those who might be scared to transition or who might be scared of what other people might think?

Zyon: Self-love is the key to anything you do. Even after this interview is over, you might think, “Gray is full of shit and I’m not buying this transgender thing…” As much as it may seem odd to anybody, I still love myself. I love myself enough to continue what I’m doing despite anyone’s opinions. Also, watch how you portray yourself because if anyone decides to be trans, if you are still a beautiful person… it won’t matter.

 

Liberator: Do you have any inspiring words to all poets and aspiring poets?

Zyon: My boy Drew always says he does not do slams because he thinks poetry shouldn’t be judged. I think the artistry of poetry has no gender. Poetry is unisex. I have the ability to be the gateway to change one’s opinion followed by their heart and then mind. Poetry is the only way this message can really get across. When I talk about my process though my poetry, people are taken aback and have a whole new level of respect for me. And it’s not because I’m trans; It’s because of the way I am choosing to eXpress it.

 

Liberator: Well it seems you have a lot going on. I’m happy you are making it. Overall though, are you happy?

Zyon: Today, I am happy. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life…

 

 

 

 

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