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Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation
Written by: Shelby Jade
Photography by: Tya Anthony for eyeni photography
Sunny. Clear skies. 75 degrees. It was a beautiful setting for the influx of bright-faced women hailing from all over the east coast that poured into the J. Millard Tawes College Center at Coppin State University in Baltimore. Though I arrived around 9:30 a.m., there was already a line formed for entry to the Heal a Woman to Heal A Nation, Inc. Conference (HWHN) held Saturday, April 20, 2009. I passed a few volunteer stations and was immediately approached and greeted by Mothyna James-Brightful, Visionary Director of the Organization. A sprite and focused ball of energy, she embodies the purpose of the event and hands me a schedule full of seminars designed to uplift scores of progressive women who, as the times tell us, are in dire need of empowerment.
My first stop was to get some butt-kicking pointers from Monique Washington – Tae Kwon Do and Kyushinshri master. Her slight frame manages to support an impressive black belt and I get the idea she could take down anybody in the joint if she so desired… So, I keep my distance and hang towards the back of the crowd. Her class today is a range of ages, and she keenly focuses in on several gray haired sisters scattered throughout. She instructs them in ways to use their keys, umbrellas, and canes as “equalizers” to stave off an attacker’s advance. When I’m sure many were calculating excuses about ailments and missing upper body strength (my back aches when it rains every 3rd Tuesday of the month…), she kindly reminds us that an attacker makes no concession to those ailments. If we are going to protect ourselves, we must learn methods appropriate to our physical conditions. Ms. Washington teaches an all-girls Karate class if you’re interested, and will even conduct a private class as long as your group is of at least 15 girls. www.aimusainc.com
At the end of the day, all were in agreement it had ended too quickly. Milling over refreshments, they sat around exchanging stories of pleasant experiences, enlightenment, and unforgettable back massages.
I left there and sauntered over to peruse the anything-but-ordinary vendor tables where organizations like Casey Family Services, Raising Him Alone, and Malika Kambe Umfazi Sorority, Inc. (the nation’s premiere Afrikan/Latina based Non-Greek lettered sisterhood), were represented. Author Tina Stith-Twine, M. Ed presented her book Success Chick, an e-Book that offers tools to help overcome fears and self-imposed limitations, and author Frankie Nicole promoted Scratches, a new fictional book that boasts no explicit material or profanity. I didn’t know such a thing existed.
As I awaited the start of the workshops, I took a seat beside Monique Williams, a 38-year-old single parent who is attending the conference to gain some understanding of the complexities of raising a 16 year-old son alone. Monique is interested in the advice of today’s Guest Speakers: the mothers of popular performing artists Mos Def, Common, and Talib Kweli. They are men whom she considers to be successful, in that they are contributing positively to society and appear to have character worthy of imitation. She hopes the same for her son. I also spoke with Johndre Jennings, 31-year-old single mother of a son who will soon be 22 months-old. She is here looking for strategy. Like many women, she wants the best for her son and is unsure of what cultural activities in which to involve him, the types of men she should seek out as role models, and generally what she should do to make sure her little man becomes a gentleman, strong and capable of being a protector. Johndre noted that she has been unable to gain this information from older women in the community who have encouraged her to tackle such hurdles on her own. The halls were filled with women that may have appeared very different, but were identical in their hopes for today, and the future.
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The workshop titled “Coping with the Day to Day Struggles of Being a Single Mother” was conducted by Matt Stevens, father of 2 and author of (among other books) Raising Him Alone. Matt spoke of the steadily falling expectations surrounding Black manhood. He says our men are not reaching expectations because we haven’t set any, and expressed concern over adult men allowed to live as boys nursing a “Peter Pan Syndrome”. He encouraged the women in his group to list their biggest challenges with their sons, and promised that they would leave with 4 specific exercises that were practical, fun, and informational that they could put into place right away. Matt’s candor regarding his ongoing battle with his own son put everyone at ease, and created an opening for the mantra he reiterated throughout the session: Think Differently. The issues of today’s boys and young men are not new, but they do require new approaches. Parents have to think outside of the box in order to raise boys who will also think outside of the box in their problem solving processes. Matt can be contacted at Info@empowertodaysyouth.com or directly via cell phone at 973-820-8999.
I couldn’t help but take note of the assortment of fedoras and head wraps, fitted jeans and Sunday-best suits
, shiny synthetic hair pieces and coiffed dreadlocks. It was nice to be surrounded by so many uniquely
beautiful women, all with a genuine concern for the welfare of their sisters.
At “Love & Loyalty: Am I My Sister’s Keeper?”, the ladies of Sircles (a wellness group for women) seemed more like religious leaders than mothers and community activists. The synchronized moans and church “Amens” from the crowd were testimony to the difficulty some women have maintaining quality, healthy relationships with each other. The friendly, sista-girl manner of Ria Clark, one of the founders, won me over instantly. She contends that we are too loose with the title of “friend”, and she along with Julie Wilson and Nneka Crump have created a group that defines terms like “sister”, “keeper”, “loyalty”, and “love”. Their group reaches out to the community and holds monthly gatherings to provide ongoing emotional support to women in need of healing. Visit them online at www.sircles.org, or at 800-706-4416.
At the end of the day, all were in agreement it had ended too quickly. Milling over refreshments, they sat around exchanging stories of pleasant experiences, enlightenment, and unforgettable back massages. In a final display of entertainment, Camila Karam took belly dancing to daring new heights and balanced a 3 foot blade on her head while she shook her way to a hip replacement in 10 years. That sister would’ve made Beyonce proud. All jokes aside, I couldn’t help but take note of the assortment of fedoras and head wraps, fitted jeans and Sunday-best suits, shiny synthetic hair pieces and coiffed dreadlocks. It was nice to be surrounded by so many uniquely beautiful women, all with a genuine concern for the welfare of their sisters. Mothyna and her partner in peace Monokia Tyson closed with thank you’s and gifts to new mothers and birthday girls, and had the 6th graduating class of HWHN repeat a powerful statement of affirmation. I, like many others, did not want to leave. Thankfully, we will do it all again very soon, and you will be there to experience it for yourself!
