A Safe Secret:
Generational Curse and Mental Effects of Sexual Abuse
Written by: luminoUS, Editor at Large
For some reason, many people need to see numbers before they believe in something. Whether money or statistics, numbers provide facts and most tend to rest easier when facts are involved. Well, here are a few facts when dealing with child sexual abuse: 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 and there is an estimated 39 million child sexual abuse survivors in America today. Out of those children who have been sexual abused, family members have abused 30-40% and over 30% never disclose the eXperience to anyone.
In whatever arena you find comfort, release the generational curse of what has been deemed “a safe secret” and speak your truth for your truth will be the same words that will save someone else from suffering the mental anguish of keeping quiet…
When Mackenzie Phillips appeared on Oprah last year and disclosed the sexual abuse that she suffered at the hands of her father, the nation was in an uproar. Many people turned a side-eye in her direction and raised numerous questions, namely, why did she allow it to happen and why did she choose to discuss such a family taboo on national television. As wrong as it may sound, sexual abuse occurs more often than people would like to believe [see the statistics in the first paragraph] and if they do know about it, they tend to brush it under the rug and pretend that all is well. No one wants to talk about it, but healing cannot be achieved properly if the incident isn’t discussed.
When you turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to sexual abuse it becomes a cyclical pattern. The attacker is liable to strike again since fear has been instilled in the victim and this, in turn, leads to damaged adults who will either abuse others or partner up with an abusive mate. Being creatures of habit, many continue with what they know instead of seeking out resolution. It’s much harder to break cycles as opposed to going along with them and it is because of this fact that silence becomes a saving grace. For whatever reason, the victim keeps quiet and their silence allows the cycle to continue on. This silence falls over families in a heavy fashion and weighs down for generations until someone finally has the courage to speak up and break the weight of secrecy.
1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 and there is an estimated 39 million child sexual abuse survivors in America today…
What many may not know is the mental effects that holding on to such secrets can have. I, personally, have not been abused, but I know people who have. Some have spoken out and others haven’t. Some are seeking mental help by way of a therapist and have been prescribed medicine in order to cope with what they have endured. What I do know is that when you internalize tragedy or traumatic events it tends to well up and brim over in a painfully harsh factor. Whether in conditions of anxiety or paranoia, a mental tactic becomes the means of coping and many can’t live life normally. 70-80% of sexual abuse survivors cope by means of eXcessive drug and alcohol abuse and young girls are 3 times more likely to develop psychiatric disorders.
Keeping silent about sexual abuse is no safe secret because the truth of the matter can potentially save someone else from suffering what has been suffered already. It is reported that 70% of offenders have between 1 and 9 victims. I’m sure each attacker has a specific fear tactic to keep the victim silent, but the only true way to achieve justice is to speak out. No one deserves to be sexual violated in any way and no one should be made to feel like it is his or her fault. The victim also should never feel like they have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders or lock away the bones of anyone else’s skeletons in the chambers of their heart. In whatever arena you find comfort, release the generational curse of what has been deemed “a safe secret” and speak your truth for your truth will be the same words that will save someone else from suffering the mental anguish of keeping quiet.
***All statistics were taken from:
http://www.darkness2light.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp
